True friendship is found mostly in the male genre because of their proclivity to know when to shut the door or one thing and to start another. That is the great thing about being practical or pragmatic. If a man does not readily see that something is going to work out between two people, he just lets go. He does not drag a relationship out and then blame themselves for the breakup. So true friendship definitely is about the genders.
Women are emotional and may call you a friend one moment and the second moment wants to pull your hair out. That is the woman's perogative to act in the moment either out of love or rage just as long as her emotions are out there and you get exactly how she feels about you.
Aside from the obvious difference in the personalities of men and women, true friendships on rare occasions do bloom between a man and a woman, a woman and another woman and friends to friends. However when the word true is added to the prefix of the root wood love then the definition takes on a totally different characteristic. A true friendship is found more often than not between two men than two women because of the doctrine of power.
Men in power generally share equally while women are caty and a bit jealous if one is forging ahead of the other. This is because women are still deemed the weaker sex even in the light of women liberty movements and in their younger years they have to fight each other to get the males attention. Young women may not realize it but when they wear the top fashions and make themselves beautiful with condiments of cosmetics, they are fighting for a man's attention. A few women may say that they do it for themselves which is fine and dandy however, you will probably be speaking to a mature women instead of a young woman out seeking male companionship.
Women fighting is not on the same playing field as men. Women are fighting to get the man's attention with her beauty, brains, poise, looks and personality. In these modern times, as it is still the male who actually gets to choose who he is going to spend the rest of his life with, he gets to make the selection. While this process is going on there is no room for true friendship. A quick hello and goodbye in passing but two women getting together to pit for one man is unreal. There is bound to be a word far removed from friendship and that is enemy terrritory.
As a woman grows older, she matures to look to herself as her best friend and to be careful who she brings into her cozy corner. The man, however, as he matures is still bringing buddies over for dinner or catching a football games with his true friends. These are his true friends because they are sharing in his company. There is no need for a man to get emotional about a secret that linked out among his friends because most of these men will understand that it was just a leak of information that had no bearing on his friendship with the person.
A woman may not have a lot of true friends but she is in a better position to describe what true love details than a man. The man experiences true friendship yet it is the woman with her delicate nature who can explain verbally what true friendship is. Now if only she can get a smidgen of true friendship from the men's corner of the room. Her soft nature makes it easy for her to understand true friendship though it will be rare that she gets to transform it into love.
A man on the other hand has a more pragmatic way of describing true friendship just as a friendship plain, direct, simple and practical. He would probably say that a friendship is a friendship and the word true have nothing to do with it. In his common sense way of thinking the man's take on friendship may be that there is no such thing as a fake, false or pretend friendship.
Having explained the differences of the sexes betwee friendship and real friendship, let's add one other element to this article about true friendship and that word is empathy. Empathy is when you literally step in the other person's shoes in this case a friend's shoes and feel the exact same way that he or she feels about their present situation. Empathy is genderless and is the simple scientific element that definds true friendship. If you are able to step into the other person's shoes and genuinely feel what he or she is going through then you are a true friend.
As a true friend, you are not looking for a reciprocal because you are only concentrating on what makes the other person happy.
That is a simple and direct explanation of what true friendship is and your chances of finding true friendship should not be your goal in getting involved in a relationship. A true friend is there for the other person and do not look for a return of investment of their feelings of empathy. The odd thing about giving is that when you give you do not think about what you are going to get in return. The act of giving is such a good feeling of true friendship that the reward in in the giving.
To sum this article up about true friendship, men will find true friendship faster than a woman because of their general constitution of being the go-to person equipped with something that is not always found in women and that is pragmatism or just being practical instead of emotional. True friendship encompasses the word empathy meaning that you are able to feel where the other person is coming from and is there in time of need and in time of happiness.
Giving is what people do out of true friendship and the task of giving have not reciprocation. Giving people in a true friendship should not be looking for a payback for their empathy and genuine concern for another.
True friendship just like true love is hard to find
Someone is stealing your words.
ReplyDeleteAmelia Green-Field
http://thebrook.ning.com/profiles/blogs/best-friends-forever
First and foremost, I did not steal your writings. I posted this as what I thought was one of the most delightful pieces I have seen in many blogs.... I apologize if you thought I stole your work. I will remove it from my site however, 90% of what I write is from the heart and I agreed with your blog considering I had some issues with a friend sitution and I wanted to express how I feel about those that I care about. When I came across your post I thought it was the most wonderful explaination of friendship that was expressed. I must apologize for not putting your name and credit on this post.... If you wish I will remove this from my page. Feel free to email me at a_field@comcast.net.
ReplyDeleteKind Regards,
Amie Green